47. Can I Have Your Rabbit Lamp, Susan?

The Case of the Uninhabited Unit

Hello, friend - hope you’ve had a good week!

First thing’s first - I can confirm that I now have a working washing machine and once again smell like your favourite flower. Which, for the record, should either be frangipani or yesterday-today-and-tomorrow.

Second thing’s second - how are you? You look nice! Is that a new shirt - or do you also have a washing machine? Whatever your secret is - keep doing it, sunshine! x

I don’t know about you, but last week’s vibes went a bit off-kilter. So to get us back on track, I’ve outsourced ‘vibe control’ to this fortune-telling mouse. I have a cheese-scented guarantee that the coming week will be filled with goodness … or gouda … I may have misheard.

You will meet an aged fragrant cheese.

Fishbird Catch of the Week

We publish articles twice a week on the Fishbird Central website - every Wednesday and Saturday! This week’s included:

• Short Sharp Crime!

  • Sometimes you want crime fiction that you can consume quickly and that's impossible to ignore. Whether it's a con gone sideways, a murder hiding in plain sight, or a detective with more baggage than clues. These 14 stories waste no time getting to the good stuff. Amaze your friends with your ability to smash several noir novellas in a single sleuthing sesh! What’s your favourite bite-sized book?

Check out the latest post here - Short Sharp Crime!

• Sketching in April - Week One, 2025!

  • What do 3 Gallifreyan Doctors, an MI5 covert-agent, an actual wizard and a loudly meowing cat have in common? Practically nothing, but the fates don’t know that! In this post our sketches set sail towards the Fjords amidst glowing runes, nonsense and clumsily written prose. If you find yourself fluent in Icelandic after this tale, I’d blame the cat.

Check out the latest post here - Sketching in April - Week One, 2025!

I looked in a stranger’s linen cupboard - and I liked it.

We’ve started inspecting units to purchase - saw 4 yesterday!

Already finding it a tricky balance not to make friends with the other people waiting to view the units, while also exuding a ‘rich vibe’ so the estate agents don’t think we just wandered in by accident and can put in a decent offer.

It’s an odd feeling, giving strangers pep talks in the foyers and lifts of buildings that aren’t ours - that the property that’s ‘meant to be’ will be … while also trying to subliminally tell them to get out, Susan - we like this unit, you choose another one.

Saw this house a few years back. It’s on the ‘maybe’ list.

How do you walk though a space filled with other people’s novelty rabbit lamps and weird signage - ‘It’s always 5 o’clock somewhere’ - and not feel awkward opening their pantry and checking their bathroom walls for potential damp?

Should we leave little post-it notes in places we visit? ‘I like your towels’. ‘Clean your skirting boards’. ‘Can I have your rabbit lamp?’

Anyway, while we wait to hear back about that rabbit lamp, we’ll try and process what we saw and hope that by the time we math out the math - all the units we just saw haven’t already been sold. It’s a steep learning curve, and tips are always welcome if you’ve got them!

I think we can all agree that the best thing about house-hunting, is the roast that you’re allowed to get for lunch when you’re sick of looking at other people’s toilets.

Real estate energy.

Quick Fire Wrap Up

Currently Reading: ‘The Queen’ by Nick Cutter. ‘Margaret and Charity have been lifelong friends. They share everything, know the most intimate details about one another … except for the destructive secret hidden from them both. A secret that will trigger a chain of events ending in tragedy, bloodshed, and death.’

Currently Watching: ‘Kaos’ on Netflix (Season One). ‘As discord reigns on Mount Olympus and almighty Zeus spirals into paranoia, three mortals are destined to reshape the future of humankind.’ Sad that this seems to have been cancelled after S1 - it’s a fun take on the mythology.

Currently Singing Along To: ‘On the Street Where You Live’ by Andy Williams. ‘Are there lilac trees in the heart of town? Can you hear a lark in any other part of town? Does enchantment pour out of every door - no, it's just on the street where you live’. So get out please, Susan.

Have any book, song or show recommendations? Let me know in the comments! :)

Wishes for the Week

Nobody knows what the days ahead will bring.

Well ... except for that mouse we met earlier. But I know in my heart that there are 6 things you can always rely on.

Your rock-hard abs.

The internet says a 6-pack of abs appear within 8-12 weeks of consistent effort.

Considering that you’re consistently amazing and putting in effort in a multitude of ways - I can only assume your abs have been present since you were in short pants.

Stay cool, punks.

‘Fill your bathtub with cooked rice and ripped jeans to keep away prospective buyers.’ - Enid Blyton (probably).

Jen x