58. Name My Fictional Dog, Please.

The Case of the Present Prepper

Hello, friend - hope you’ve had a great week!

Listeners: Pack a lunch for the above audio version this week, friends! I go off-grid and walk you through what I’ll be reading for the month of July, why these books are on my radar and confirm my father-in-law did not do murders! Spot where I finally take a drink!

I’m in treat-prepping mode, looking down the candle of family birthday season that kicks off next week. The all-seeing dolphin who controls the Internet tells me that July babies are often passionate, determined, and creative, with a love for adventure. I don’t know about that, but I do know that some of them like puzzles and zooper-doopers.

I’ve yet to meet anyone that knows how to act when people circle them and sing ‘Happy Birthday’. Why are humans so weird? I mean, you’re cool - but the rest of us are a barrel of confused monkeys most of the time. Speaking of monkeys, does your family sing anything after the normal ‘Happy Birthday’ bit? I’ve married into a family who sing … ‘Hooray for insert name here, hooray at last! Hooray for insert name here, he’s/she’s a monkey’s bottom’. Feels weird if I don’t sing that now & I get looks.

How many cats do you normally buy your friends for their birthdays? One for luck or two for company? I imagine one of those evil genius bald cats counts as 1/2 a cat as it’s yet to find its fleece.

My birthday’s not until December, but the fates are trying to get me to spend $50 on a t-shirt with Sweep on it. If you’re not familiar with Sweep, he’s a squeaky grey glove-puppet dog from ‘The Sooty Show’. Wikipedia has him down as a “dim-witted dog with a penchant for bones and sausages.” All I know is that I’m a grown woman and that sweet face has some kind of magic in it. Every few days i’ll be lured back to the website and have 3 things in my cart before I can say “shouldn’t you put that money towards a new office chair that’s not held together with Blutac and screams when you sit in it?”. No, universe - I need a Sweep wallet. And a Sweep shirt. And a Sweep sausages badge.

If you’re finding it hard to hear me go without essentials like a t-shirt with a puppet dogs face on it - feel free to Sweep a few dollars my way via the ‘Shout me a Coffee’ button below. I’ll let you sign my shirt.

Fishbird Catch of the Week

I publish articles twice a week on the Fishbird Central website - every Wednesday and Saturday! This week’s catch included:

• Book Picks for July 2025 - Monthly TBR!

  • In this post I choose my TBR for July 2025! This month our Fishbird Central Book Club book is ‘The Tainted Cup’ by Robert Jackson Bennett! Let’s chat about our thoughts on this one in the Newsletter post of 3 August, 2025. You’ve got plenty of time to read along with us if you have the desire to do so!

Check out the latest post here - Book Picks for July 2025 - Monthly TBR

• June Drawing - Week 4, 2025!

  • This week our June drawing introduced us to a knight and we went into battle with some wordplay; we met a chicken called Hansard; stepped into the middle of a sky-born lovers quarrel; called out for Megalodon on the edge of an ocean cliff; took some words of wisdom from Jackson Lamb; opened some doors and had Ellery the Government Wish Dragon clear our flex debit.

    What are you itching to draw? I suggest you sketch the object or person that's been haunting you - there's no right or wrong way to do it. Note that if you’re sketching a person you know, try not to stare directly into their eyes while you do it - it weirds them out. Go forth and release your inner art kraken!

Check out the latest post here - ‘June Drawing - Week 4, 2025’

Writing Check in - Plots, Polls and Planning

It’s early doors in Jen’s writing adventure. My author slacks are still freshly pressed, pencils are sharpened and ideas are percolating. But I am doing the thing - novelling the novel and reaching into the depths of my psyche to drag out characters that I might like to hang out with for a spell.

I have about 9 characters that are jostling for page-time at the moment, one of which is a clever (if a little sassy) beagle. I’m stuck on what to name him though. For context, he’ll be featuring in a novel that - currently - is swirling around my imajenatorium with a ‘Cosy Crime’ flavour … potentially with ripples of lite fantasy.

First I thought ‘Jeremy Barkson’ but there’s an alarming amount of dogs called that on the internet already. Can you help a Jenny out and throw in your 2 biscuits?

What’s my name, dawg?

When I’m not casting around for Beagle bona fides, like any budding fictionologist, I’m building up a questionable search history in the name of ‘research’. So far I’ve Googled ‘dog gumboots’, ‘20 types of curtains’, ‘citrus up nose’, ‘can a person survive falling off a cliff’ and ‘taxidermied toads’.

Also, it turns out characters require motivations to do things. For example, why would Alan want to be in Sally’s gross old house in the first place? How many people would realistically want to steal a haunted toad? What happens if you put a grizzled fisherman in proximity to a Romantasy writer who’s allergic to prawns? Repeat until insane or published.

How are you going with your novel and/or writing project - what stage are you at? I’d love to hear about it! If it’s half as amazing as you are, it’ll be a best-seller for sure!

Quick Fire Wrap Up

Currently Reading: ‘Starter Villain’ by John Scalzi. Divorced, broke and emotionally dependent on his cat, Charlie hasn’t been loving life. Then he finds out his recently deceased Uncle Jake has left him a top-secret, international supervillain business. Charlie must decide if he should stay stuck in his rut, or step up to take on the business, the enemies, the minions, the hidden volcano lair… Even harder to get used to are the talking, computer-savvy cats – and the fact that they’re management.

Currently Watching: ‘Countdown’ Season One on Prime, a 2025 crime drama series featuring Jensen Ackles as an LAPD officer who joins a secret task force to investigate a suspicious murder, but uncovers a sinister plot that requires the team to unite and save millions in the city.

Currently Singing Along To: Three toe-tappers - ‘Sixteen Tons’ cover by Geoff Castellucci + ‘I’m Only Getting Started’ by Avi Kaplan + ‘Walk (Back to Your Arms)’ by Tami Neilson. I’ve added the tunes to the Fishbird Central Spotify Playlist. Rack ‘em up & bop ‘em down, songbirds. Have any tunes you think I’d like - drop some suggestions in the comments!

Wishes for the Week

There’s a lot of noise out there at the moment, and it can be hard to hear your own thoughts. You might find yourself second-guessing the path you’re on, or being swayed by those around you who only seem to point out reasons why what you’re working on is bound to fail.

They don’t know you’re magical though. They don’t know that you’re lit from within by dragon-fire and caffeine, by stardust and thai food. They can’t see that the road you’re walking leads to laughter and learning and forests filled wonders that don’t even have names yet.

We’ll hold your hat while you show ‘em how it’s done. Go get ‘em, tiger!

Stay cool, punks.

‘Your dog has no nose. How does he smell then? Fictional.’ - Donna Leon (probably)

Jen x